This activity is in response to having taught the Big Writing quick impact lesson 2. All materials are the property of the author Ros Wilson.
Howl
Who would have thought such creatures could have made so much noise? Valiantly I struggled on, clearing through the teeming throng of tiny people as they rushed frantically away from the entrance to the temple.
“Turn back,” they cried. “Turn back before its too late!” But I had no choice. I had to press on into the gloomy stillness, the lives of too many were depending on the success of my mission.
Strangely, the inside seemed peaceful after the panic and confusion of the outside. I stood quietly, adjusting to the semi-darkness and listening carefully for any sound that would reveal the whereabouts of my foe. All was quiet…to quiet! I waited
After what seemed to be a very long time, but in reality might only have been a few minutes, I crept forward, picking a careful path between the tumble of chairs and prayer books scattered by the tiny people in their fearful flight. Not a sound did I make, as I approached the doors of the crypt at the back of the temple. My hand was resting on the giant iron handle when through the vaulted ceiling echoed the demented scream of a tortured spirit, rippling and bursting from the shadowed depths of the towering bell tower. It was the cry of the Mangee… the haunted howl of death.
Written By Ros Wilson, Andrell Education
Further details of theses materials can be gained through:
http://www.andrelleducation.co.uk/home/
Big Writing 
…After the howl went off I looked around to see if I can see it. But I couldn’t so what I did was followed the noise. All of a sudden I put my hands out in front of me like a zombie just in case I feel something. Then I was just following the noise and I felt something furry. I got the torch out of my pocket. I had shown the light at it. It was a wolf!!!!!!!
aweosme monica your story is really good 🙂
Some interesting ideas to move the story forward. Could you expand on some of those ideas?
Jacinta age 11
There ,right there infront of me , the deadly beast stood as if it was about to pounce on me. I squealed as I ran from the beast dodging it’s razor sharp claws. That’s it, is this going to be the end for me? Nobody knows ……….Nobody but the beast itself.
Really great writing Jacinta, I can’t wait to read a little more about what the beast looks like.
Jacinta, I love your use of descriptive language ‘deadly beast’ and ‘razor sharp claws’ it ads so much more to a story.
By Nicole Samuel Age 11
Suddenly I stop I looked around. I need to follow the scream, I ran still following the terrifying scream. Then all of a sudden the lights turned off, it was pitch black, also the screaming stopped, “What do I do now?” I thought to myself……
You are writing at a very high standard Nicole. Keep up the great work. Don’t forget to self edit before posting.
My heart was pounding with fear, my phone is dead, I screamed then all of a sudden I fell to the ground, I couldn’t think properly. It started to get blurry, my head was so heavy, my legs are so weak. Then I just fainted and found my self in a unusual place I was scared my mum might be worried…
Great story leah 🙂
hi
awesome story:)
Brilliant piece of writing some lovely ideas and techniques to keep the audience reading. Could you think of some ways to use more punctuation?
JAYDE AGE 11
Before very long I was confronted with the mangee. All
of a sudden it grabbed a chair and began thrashing the splinted piece of wood on the floor, howling. The question in my mind was ‘’ Why was this…. This monster frightening all those poor tiny creatures?’’ The pale white ghost started crying again. I had to find my headphones. The dreaded howl kept going and going. I had to stop it. But how………..
Alex Falck age 10
I was frightened out of my mined when death himself came upon me! I ran and ran until I could not run anymore I was so scared. I could not see because I was in the semi-darkness so I said “please don’t kill me ill do anything you want just please don’t kill me………. Will you?” “I wont kill you I will DESTROY YOU!” replied death so he struck at me and I dogged it and say a little crack on his skull head so I pulled out a Swiss army knife from my pocket and stabbed death in that little spot on his skull and he actually fell to the ground crying???? So went up to him and shouted, “that’s what you get for TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!” so he replied with “I only tried to kill you because I’m hungry and there is no food in here” “oh ok well ill bring some food down tomorrow bye.” So I left and came back tomorrow with some steak, pork, fish, scorpion and lizard. Death was grateful and gobbled the whole lot down.
UR’S is AWESOMEEE
I like it
As I was listening I heard a deep grumble from behind me…The wall was caving in! I needed a plan and quick. I turned and ran towards the Mangee’s call. There in front of me was an exit but there stood (well floated) the Mangee itself!
By Gabby Bingham Age 9
Great use of punctuation Gabby in an exciting story. Can you add some more complex sentences using connectives in your next piece of work?
Name paige.w age 11
Not long after there were some horrible disgusting weird looking creatures screaming,
welling and a torching sound to my ears. All of a sudden I realised the sound was a
howl . after a while there was more appearing near me!!!. To come perusing demolishing me So I sprinted across the town. I was scared, petrified I screamed but nothing come out I said “help” but still nothing came out…
A great effort Paige but please remember when to and when not to use CAPITAL LETTERS????
Ella W age 9
I was too scared, I thought about running away but it was to late I had to find the golden necklace. There was very dirty, old and also used boxes in the temple but then I finally found it in a locked box where was the key? I had to find it so I crept in the biggest box I could find but there was used old cards why would they be there? “where could it be” I thought I looked inside the oldest card there was the key “I finaly found it” I yeld so I went to open the dark,scary,old,messy box but then I heard a great big ROAR!!! I quikly grabbed the shiny,amazing,beautiful golden necklace and ran out of the temple as fast as I could I was free. I completed my mission.
By Sam 9
I had heard the howl of DEATH…
The mangee leapt towards me. “I knew I shouldn’t of came here in the first place” I moaned. The mangee was a powerful creature. It had one great big eye. It scared the living day lights out of me!!!
“Arrrhhh”, all was quite…
I love the story that we had to continue another paragraph on it was awesome 😀
HOWL
I saw some light beam through a crack after a while I remembered my phone had a steel case, I quickly rummaged through my bag to find my phone but it must’ve fell out when I was sprinting. Suddenly I lunged towards it and grabbed it. Before long I realised its been knocked out of my hand!!! He howled with a dreaded noise we both rushed to handle the phone next thing I know the powers gone off…
Josh
Age 11
Some great word choices Josh I especially like rummaged. Have read back through your text and see if everything is in the correct tense e.g fell should be fallen
Louie age 10
HOWL
As I linsang I herd a deep grumble behind me! I didn’t tern around to face the thin! We need a plan now he was barricaded with walls so he jumped and started to clamed the wall the beast jumped for me it didn’t work I didn’t want to end my life like this. I was scared it was life or death I got away from it was howling at me….
The howl
Grace age 10
I was thinking what should I do? Perhaps I should RUN!!!!!!!!!!! Dead end BOOM, smash, snap the noise is upon me. I was frightened; worried the great big howl captured me. Now what was going to happen to me….???
Well done Grace you have really experimented with a wide variety of punctuation.
🙂 i liked your story paige W
Ella B age:9
The howl
My heart was pounding I didn’t know what to do. I stepped back I was so scared. but I know I have to do it. All of sudden the lights turned off what do I do I said to my self .But I knew it was the wrath of the daunting howl.
By Jayed McArthur age 10
I was never going to go back to that place so I ran away from home I now living in a tunnel. It started to get dark to I went to bed. In a while I hared a howl noise it was weird and I went more in the tunnel to found out what it was so I walked and I saw the weird awkward thing it looked like it was hunger I run for my life I run home but I looked over the hill and nothing was there it was just grass my house was GONE….
Well done Jayde a nice piece of work. Try reading it back to your self to make sure all your words are correct. Self edit before posting.
Howl
I screamed and sprinted my pumping heart out the weird thing tried to scratch me and turn me into its minion with the clutch of its claw! Suddenly he came at me again and again but then I stopped all of a sudden, I punched his ugly face with all my might! Then he took a massive breath in and let all the air out a mighty Howl of Death came out “AWOOWOO…!” The whole of the muscular wolf pack came out from behind the hidden forest they all surrounded me I had no where to go I was trapped… All of there yellow, glowing eyes stared at me ready to pounce at me! All of a sudden they all pounced and took me the prison of HOWL!…
Lachie age 11
Allie, 10
I was horrified; I could hear screeches and shouts of pain. It was a child’s worst nightmare. Then someone was coming, the sounds of boots echoed in the hallway. Then he grabbed us where were we going ARRRRRRR!!! Was I never going to see my family again???
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?????? Fabulous start… very exciting and great writing. Now pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me what happens…. write some more!!!! I cannot stand the suspense!!!! 😉
Howl
At the moment I sit waiting in a horrible room with dark damp walls, steep stairs and just then I heard drip drop over and over again. I try and find were it’s coming from. As I sprint up the stairs I start to slow down realising the steps are never ending I stop as I turn around I can’t find the end of the stairs “there gone ’’I whisper to myself. This dark damp magical place is playing tricks on me. This must be the horrible family eating creature’s home I turn around it was there, the shadowed creature running around me in a flash I cant get a clear picture it is to fast it leans towards will this be the end of my life???.
Will Age 11
After a while… he jumped down so I became scared I didn’t know what to do. So I stood there for a while staring at him while he was creeping up on me then when he was about to touch me I ran down a bumpy street and ended up in a Corner and I was trapped!!!
Howl By Montana Age 9
All of a sudden I heard a scream a very loud scream it was the people out side they were screaming for me to come back I couldn’t I really had to keep walking. I walked a little faster and I was getting a lot hotter I was getting scared .In the dark there was a…three eyed monster staring into my eyes.
Aminah…age 10
I was scared it was like they were coming to me. All of sodden I saw its red burning eyes it scared me. I started to run that thing started to chase after me it was the worst nightmare I looked back there was 2 then 3, 4, 5,6,7,8 up to ten there was a dead end I started throw a 2 year old tantrum it spoke to me I stopped. I yelled “I know someone is there you can’t scare me” I picked it and through it it bit me I was gone for a couple of seconds or hours. I woke up with the smell of fish…..
Suddenly its huge eyes gazed upon my frightened face and started to talk inside of my head;
Suddenly it warned me to return to where I came from.
But no matter how scared, also petrified I was that hideous monster would not stop me from completing my quest!!!
steffan thomas age 11
All of a sudden a humongous monster came right at us we were so scared that we were going to die at that moment. We noticed the light so we ran but I just remembered that my I pod touch was on so I continued running until I witnessed a crack in the wall. I presumed I would have the ability to break the wall down. However the monster could not escape due to the block in the wall. The big rocks are in the way so I smashed the wall down and I fled in time. Relief, as I was finally safe.
I put my hands over my ears the voice kept coming threw. I squeeze my ears until my ears wear cut off my head it was time to defeat the mangee.I tried and tried she wouldn’t die then my sole came out of me. I grabbed a sword stab stab she was bleeding and she died
By seth.guiver 10
Well done Seth you have tried hard with your connectives. I think with a little more work and self editing we can add some more exciting punctuation to your story.
By Emily age 10 Howl
When all of a sudden I had a forceful urge to hurriedly rotate around and diligently head for the massive pure gold door however I knew that I had to move past my fears and live up to my brave, bold, fearless grand father’s reputation. So I abruptly ambled through the steel doors….. when everything grew dark and gloomy. I tripped and the next thing I knew AHHHHHHHHHHHH…..
Andres: age 10
The legend of the howl of death says that if you hear its squeak three times you die. It also says that it is half meat and bone and the other half its just bones. And there it was staring at me like a warning look. I was shocked; my whole body was completely paralysed. I Couldn’t move, I wanted to run and leave but I couldn’t. No-one in the world knew if that was my end, no one also knew that I was there either. But I wish I knew if it was my end….
HOWL
I took one step into the haunted howl of death. It was quiet, to quiet and all of a sudden I herd a wolf howling, owooooooooooooooo, my legs were shaking, I saw this person floating in the air and then she turned around very forward slowly and stared at me. Her face was all rinkly and gooy. I quickly told my self I’m in a dream I’m in dream or was I…
I like the way you used fabulas vocabulary
GREAT punctutaion
You could write a bit more perhapps
Your friend Samuel
katie age 12
I slowly gradually creped closer and closer to the old door I heard a loud yelling nose coming from behind the door. I opened the door and with doing that the slimy, , see though blob of mucus swallowed me hole and that was the end of me not long after that the howling blob of sliminess tummy rumbled and bubbled the monster exploded and out I come with it.
Some great ideas Katie. Try and expand on each one rather than try to write the whole story in one paragraph.
nice story katie i like the way you said I opened the door i heard a loud yelling NOSE coming from behined the door.
i loved writing it on the laptops
Josh I love your writing it’s has good gold words and punctuation too
VCOP